Freezer Burn Magazine Issue #4
$3 from
Editor David Rogers,
10 Becket Street
Salem, MA 01970

I was quite surprised when I received the latest issue of Freezer Burn, because it seems to improve with every issue. This latest is digest size, and has a glossy cover featuring the otherworldly artwork of Cathy Buburuz. And the interior is reader friendly and neat looking! (Great job guys!)

The first thing I see when I open FB is the table of contents, and the title "Guest Editorial" staring at me. Naturally I'm eager to see who it is. Turns out it's Jeremy Johnson of Stygian Articles, and he's quoting a line from--what's this?-- Pink Floyd's "Welcome To The Machine." Actually, Jeremy writes only a short article addressing Net censorship, but I do admire his flare for the dramatic. He writes:

". . . They should be exposed to daylight, made to squirm beneath Puritan gazes, in abject terror of God Almighty . . . "

Is Jeremy a natural at editorials or what?

Next I see--oh goodness, what a surprise! I'm going to have a heart attack I'm so shocked-- D.F. LEWIS!!!

Yes, I'm familiar with good old D.F. and most of the time I rather like his material. (However, anyone who has had more than 800 stories published deserves to be picked on a bit.) But truly, I am curious as to what kind of twisted story he's submitted to FB.

As usual I have to read Lewis's work a couple of times to get the gist of it. Though D.F. is a talented writer, one often looks at his work, rereading sentences and mouthing the word "Huh?" This particular story ("The Best of All Possible Worlds") involves an elderly lady in a hospital room and a kid, Archie, being "kind to be cruel". Check out this last sentence of the story and tell me you don't mouth the word "Huh?"

"Yet, it was futile to be futile because it was." (??)

Typical D.F. line. Still, this story held my interest, was entertaining, and worth a read.

Next is "Dog of the House," by David Fingerman. This story is uncommon in that the main character is a dog (co-starring a couple of humans, and cute little cat). These poor animals do not want the humans go out, because when they're alone a monster comes out of the wall to attack them. Poor things! (Finally I'm given some characters I can sympathize with. Perhaps on my own level. <?>) Overall, this is an entertaining read, and I'll now think twice before leaving Spot and Sebastian home alone.

Then there's "Annie," by James S. Dorr. (All in all the best story in this issue in my humble opinion.) This story had me gripping the pages. A man receives a doll in the mail named after his ex-wife. He sets the doll out and--wouldn't you know it?--his cat dislikes it. Turns out the cat has a perfectly good reason to hate the thing, because it happens to be the psycho-I-want-to-hack-you-to-pieces doll from hell. Aggggghhhh! James is certainly a proficient writer/poet, and this story excellent. I just hope I don't have nightmares.

Next we have "This He Likes Most of All" by Sue Storm, which begins as the typical 'child is afraid of a monster in his room that his parents believe is imaginary but which is actually real' plot. This is a common story scenario in which the child usually gets eaten, or something equally gruesome. However, Sue doesn't stick to the mold I'm expecting, but gives more interaction with the monster, even describing where he lives in the woods and about the other victims. Also, she's written a not so typical ending, and the little boy comes through it in one piece. This is nicely written, though the monster's reminiscing of previous torture and murder of children is rather grisly. Not my bag of Cheerios, but after all, this is a horror story.

OK, I flip the pages and lo and behold, a story by Stepan Chapman! YES! This is the man who knows the secrets of the universe. And talk about a mind for the fantastical! Stepan's only fault is that his piano playing has been known to drive cats and small children into states of dementia. No folks, the name of this story isn't "Ogres on Pluto," this is "A Human At The Barbecue"! Trust Stepan to make the word 'human' sound like something alien. WARNING: The weak minded should not read this story. I was three paragraphs into it when I had this strange desire to become a squid. I shall say no more.

Hmm. What have we next? Ah yes! "Afterwards Drowning" by Jeff VanderMeer. I read this story twice just to make sure there were no squids or monsters in it that I missed. Nope, no space aliens terraforming Planetoid X. No vampires drinking souls. This is far scarier. It's a conversation between a man and a women after . . . ahem. . . having sex. No earth shattering conversation here; Jeff has chosen to be realistic.

Mark Rich is next with "Aquarium". A man's using the phone quite a bit in this while staring into a fish tank. This is written well, but I was expecting better: perhaps more of a plot and/or resolution. But even if this one didn't grab me, I wouldn't mind seeing more from Mark Rich. Hehas other stories that are quite good.

Jens H. Altmann is next with "The Battle of Leialoha Drive". This is a sci-fi tale involving alien invaders and a man with illegal information on his computer system.

"Pot Luck" by Christopher Hivner features a elderly lady as the protagonist. An intruder has broken into her home, but never fear! This old lady knows how to use a sword in more ways than one. (I wouldn't go to her house for dinner though.)

In "Gauncy's Box," a fantasy by Dennis McDade, a man catches a fairy. No, not the kind that wears boots. I'm talking about the feminine kind with cutesy little wings. Only this tiny fairy has leather wings and drinks blood! Yeah! Kind of like Tinkerbell meets Lestat. But this isn't a vampire story, and the fairy doesn't play as much of a role as I would have liked. Still, I liked this story because it was weird.

As for poetry, FB features work by Valerie Hardin, Mary Winters, John Grey, David C. Kopaska-Merkel, Bobbi Sinha-Morey (the featured poet), Kurt Newton, Corrine De Winter, and Nancy Bennet.

The artists are Cathy Buburuz, Bob Crouch, Alfred Klosterman, Richard Dahlstrom, and Peter Francis.

Freezer Burn 4.0 is an engaging issue, and well worth the cover priceof $3. My only complaint is that David Rogers didn't do an editorial. I wonder if Dave thinks he can hide by letting guests do the editorials for him? Come on Dave! Some of us enjoy hearing from you, because it gives your publication a more personal feel. Even saying: "I had fun putting this issue together, hope ya'll enjoy it!" is better than nothing. (He's probably going to send me hate mail for saying that, ah well!)

To order your copy of Freezer Burn send $3 to David Rogers,10 Becket Street, Salem, Massachusetts, 01970. A one year subscription is $12. (Published quarterly.)

FREEZER BURN STAFF
Editor: David G. Rogers
Layout: Teresa Rogers
Layout Assistance: Duane Bray
Editorial Assistance: Jeff VanderMeer

Copyright © 1996 by Shauna Skye. All Rights Reserved.